I was recently invited to speak at an event called Girl, You Totally Got This. Of course, when I talk about empowerment, the topic of self-defense is always involved. Before I got to that point, though, I talked about generally standing up for oneself.
Consider this simple scenario:
You walk into work or a social gathering and someone tells you that you look tired. Now, I don’t know about you, but I don’t really need somebody to tell me that I look tired. Either I know I do, or I didn’t think I did and now am told otherwise! Regardless, unless it is relevant for the situation (such as you’ll be in a photo or video for someone else and they were depending on a fresh face), it really isn’t anybody else’s business … and them telling you that you look tired, well that can feel really intrusive, annoying, and downright rude!
What would you do in that situation?
Most people would probably give them a polite half-smile and quietly agree, even if they actually really wanted to give them a piece of their mind!
So why is that? Why do we stay quiet when we have something to say?
There are lots of reasons, but I’ve found that the most common one is fear of hurting someone else’s feelings.
For some reason, we put this other person’s feelings over our own in this situation where they didn’t really consider how their comment might have made us feel.
Sometimes we don’t speak up because we don’t think it’s worth it and yes, sometimes it’s not, but the main point I want to make is don’t ever feel that you are not worth it, because you are.
You are totally worth it! Your feelings are valid; your thoughts are important; you deserve to be respected and heard.
Harnessing this self-worth is the first step to unleashing your inner strength.
On a self-defense note, I have found that when women learn how to physically defend themselves, their confidence grows. This confidence allows them to stand their ground and makes it more likely that they will speak up for themselves and be heard.
I covered a lot more on this topic during my talk and I did a short demonstration on how to physically set your boundaries.
For more seminars and events, stay tuned. If you’d like to collaborate, please get in touch!
You are in control. There are many things you won’t have power over, but you CAN absolutely control how someone makes you feel. Will it be easy? Not always, but it will get easier with practice.
You should never let someone encroach on your space (physical, mental, or emotional) just because you don’t want to hurt their feelings. Think of it this way, what’s worse – being embarrassed for a few minutes because you asserted yourself or letting a stranger come up to you and get into your space – or worse?
It’s important to learn how to set boundaries – physical, emotional, and mental.